Single Parenting

What are your most important needs?
Housing, medical care, food, baby supplies, Community agencies, local churches, and your peer counselor can connect you with helpful resources, including our Grace and Truth educational incentive program.

How will parenting affect my dating?
Parenting may limit your dating. When you choose to parent, your child will need most of your time and attention. Some people you date may not want to share your attention with a child, while other people will not mind. Before getting into a serious relationship, consider the effect on your child. Try to balance freedom and responsibility—you will still need to allow yourself some “fun time”. This is also a good time to consider healthy relationships and to make a commitment to sexual integrity.

Do I have to quit school?
Most schools encourage you to continue your education and provide programs especially for pregnant and parenting teens. You may decide to take a semester off while adjusting to single parenting, but your educational goals are still reachable. No one can force you to quit school.

Who will be your greatest support?
Parents, friends, family, pastor/priest, your baby's father. Include them in your decision making. However, if anyone tries to force you into a decision you are uncomfortable with, seek an intermediary to help you to talk to them. The Pregnancy Resource Center can help you do this. This is your baby and your life.

What rights does the father have?
In some states, the birth father's name is not even put on the birth certificate unless you want it to be. If he has signed a paternity affidavit, he has legal rights, including visitation. Discuss his rights and responsibilities with your counselor, attorney, or your local Department of Human Services.

How do I get support from the birth father?
The birth father's legal responsibilities include providing financial support for your child. Most states have a child support enforcement agency which will withhold money from his paycheck if he is unwilling to pay. Understand that your child is entitled to his financial support, even if he is opposed to your choice to give birth and parent your baby. The DNA Diagnostics Center can help you establish legal paternity.

How do I explain to my child why there is no father in our home?
Explain that because of complicated circumstances, he is unable to be part of your family. Talk as positively about the him as you can without being dishonest. Even if you don't like him, he is someone special to your child. Seek other male role models to encourage your child. How your child perceives caring adults of either sex will affect how he or she will relate to others as an adult.

What rights do grandparents have?
State laws vary about grandparents’ custody and visitation rights. By law, birth parents are the only ones who have rights and responsibilities toward the child. Grandparents are important people in your child's life and history. They can also be very helpful. Seek their help, however, as a temporary solution only, as it is important for you to be independent. If you live with your parents, they have a right to insist on a few rules.

Can I still choose adoption later if parenting doesn't work out?
If single parenting becomes too difficult and you decide to look into adoption, you are not a bad parent. It takes courage to realize that you are not ready for the responsibility of parenthood. Separating from a child with whom you have bonded with is difficult. Your peer counselor can help you and your child through this process and make referrals to help you make an adoption plan that you can live with. An “open” adoption will allow you to have contact with your child.

Adapted from “Single Parenting: Ten FAQs About Single Parenting,” Bethany Publications 1997